You can date everything in Date Everything, just as the game promises. There are some boundaries, yes, but likely fewer than you'd expect. The floor beneath your feet, the food in your fridge, even your own shadow—each is open to love and affection, or perhaps even hatred if you truly can't stand them.

But by that same logic, who says the items in your home can't fall in love too? Or despise each other? Or maybe both at once. Sounds messy? That's Dirk and Harper for you. Turns out dirty laundry and the hamper they live in end up in a toxic relationship after being stuck together for so long.

Where To Meet Dirk And Harper

Dirk and Harper embody dysfunction. They couldn't be more opposite: hard and soft, clean and dirty, loud and quiet. You'll find them in the laundry room, among many other appliances tangled in awkward and unhealthy relationships—it's basically a hotspot of emotional tension.

They're always found together, and you can talk to them by interacting with the clothes hamper in the corner. Just be prepared for them not giving you a moment to speak.

Are Dirk And Harper Two Different Characters?

There are several Dateables in the game that consist of multiple entities treated as one entry—like Curt and Rod, Volt and Eddie, the Hanks, and others. But Dirk and Harper are different.

Though they’re found together, they are two distinct characters, each with their own entry in the Date-a-Dex. This separation allows your actions to influence not only your relationship with them individually, but also how they interact with each other.

Unlike other pairs, where you get the whole package, these two can be pried apart. Their toxicity binds them, yet it also drives a wedge between them deep enough for you to break them apart. So yes, they are very much two separate people.

If you choose to split them, they will appear separately in different locations, fully existing as individuals.

Should You Break Up Dirk And Harper?

A Brief Overview

From the moment you meet them, it’s clear Dirk and Harper aren’t happy. Or rather, they’re far from satisfied. They’re textbook examples of a toxic couple, constantly bickering, shouting over petty complaints, and hurling ridiculous accusations. Then, moments later, they’re clinging to each other emotionally because no one else understands them like they (barely) understand each other. Watching them is exhausting.

As you continue speaking with them, the deeper issues surface. Harper had a brief relationship with Chappy, a chapstick, before his tragic demise in a washing machine mishap caused by—you guessed it—your forgetfulness. Always remember to check your pockets before doing laundry.

With Chappy gone so soon, he became her idealized version of a perfect partner, and now Dirk bears the brunt of those impossible comparisons. "Chappy used to do this," "Why can't you be more like Chappy," and endless reminders of a chapstick she barely knew. It’s a daily beating for Dirk.

Yet he feeds into it. He doesn’t leave—he lets her torment him and even encourages her paranoid ideas that he's cheating, because it gives him a sick sense of satisfaction knowing exactly how to hurt her most. It's cruel. But neither seems willing to take action. They’re stuck in limbo, and your involvement might be the only way to change things.

So should you intervene? Try to fix things, or finally put an end to it all? While the decision is yours, it's undeniable that separating them leads to a better outcome than anything else.

Breaking Up Dirk And Harper

For everyone’s sake, their relationship needs to end. Harper lives in fantasies, and Dirk clings to someone for support—even if he helps destroy it. Ending things isn’t difficult. Though you can't pick who to talk to first, they’ll alternate during conversations.

All it takes is pointing out their differences, and sometimes directly telling them to break up. There won’t be a single defining moment—you’ll build toward the inevitable through a series of choices. In the end, Harper resists the idea, but Dirk makes the final call, choosing what's best for both of them. At least she lets him go.

Once separated, both act independently. Harper stays in the hamper, while Dirk undergoes a noticeable transformation, freed from the weight of their relationship.

How To Change Your Relationship Status With Dirk And Harper

Initially, Dirk and Harper function as a single unit—two characters, but inseparable. If you keep them together, your endings with them (Love, Friends, or Hate) remain linked.

But if you break them up, they become independent, allowing you to have different endings with each. Since their dynamic changes depending on your choices, their individual conclusions work differently—and somewhat simpler. Here's what happens:

- After breaking up the pair, Dirk literally disappears from the hamper. Instead, **you can now find him folded neatly in your room.** - As expected, Harper is obsessive—unhealthily so. After splitting up, you’ll notice that **she doesn’t really give you a choice in your ending with her.** There’s no strict happy ending here, but any change is progress for this troubled duo.

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